username :      
password :    
Register here Lost password?
site search :
  Set as start page Add to favorites
Home page
Registration
Newsletter
Contest
Feedback
Site statistics
Privacy
Links
Forum
Categories
Newsletter Archive
Sweepstakes
Free Stuff
Affiliate Free Coupons
   
Free Software Downloads
Free Internet Services
   
Funny Jokes
Funny Pictures
Online Flash Games
   
Affiliate Networks
   
Today Poker Freerolls
Online Poker Rooms
   
Free Online Radio
   
Calendar
«    July 2008    »
 
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
 
Featured articles
» $5 Printable Kohls Coupon
» Free Princess Cruises 2008 Complete Escapes DVD
» Free Wizdom Kit for Kids with Diabetes
» Free Yogi Tea Samples
» $1 Blue Bunny Novelty Coupon
» OpenOffice.org 2.4.1 Final
» New Xbox 720
» JULY 02-2008 FREEBIES ISSUE
» JUNE 30-2008 FREEBIES ISSUE
» $1 Printable Tide Coupon
Our polling
How often do you have a gut-busting, tear jerking laugh?

Once a day
Once a week
Once a month
Never
Partner news
News archive
July 2008 (1)
June 2008 (36)
May 2008 (35)
April 2008 (32)
March 2008 (21)
February 2008 (16)
January 2008 (19)
December 2007 (14)
November 2007 (30)
October 2007 (41)
September 2007 (23)
August 2007 (42)
July 2007 (73)
June 2007 (113)
May 2007 (36)
April 2007 (35)
March 2007 (29)
February 2007 (40)
Want even more freebies, sweepstakes, samples or cool printable coupons?
Just add your name and email address below to subscribe to our free daily newsletter:


First Name:
 
Email:
   

Free Stuff, Sweepstakes, Free Samples, Printable Coupons, Jokes and Funny Pictures » Funny Jokes » Sticky First date

Funny Jokes : Sticky First date
 
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold..and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah . It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants downand started. In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down.' And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
 
   
 
 
Dear visitor, You have entered on a site as not registered user. We recommend you to be registered or to enter on a site under the your username.

Other news on a theme:

  • Little Eddy's Test
  • Foot In Mouth Disease
  • Late Again?
  • You need a good laugh!
  • Jackass


  •  
     
    Print  




     

    Information
      Members of Guest cannot leave comments.  

     
       
    Who's Online
    Page Rank Counter
    Home Page | Registration | Add A News | New On The Site | Statistics | RSS 2.0

    Copyright © 2007 Absolute-Portal.com All Rights Reserved.